Omni February 20th, 2007
Read this article
I remember this topic (gun control) was banned from being topics for ENGL101 argumentative papers. It’s very true that sheeps are in denial. They want everyone else de-fanged so they would feel safe. However, on the hand if you provide weapons to sheep, sheep suddenly think they’re sheepdogs. When crisis comes, sheep end up getting killed first because they’re not trained and weapons don’t make them invincible. At the end, sheep are still sheep.
Omni January 15th, 2007
- The reason why terrorists attacked New York City was because Jack
Bauer was in LA.
- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
- Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and
he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
- Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase
you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
- If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your
life.
- Colin Farrell smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. Jack Bauer smokes a
pack of terrorists anytime he feels like it.
- Deaf people listen to Jack bauer.
- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer
killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real
fact.
- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.
- Jack Bauer cannot stick his elbow in his ear, but he can stick your
elbow in your ear.
- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair
fight.
- Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack
Bauer.
- If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
- Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second
favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
- Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was
shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a
bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
- The quickest way to a man’s heart is through Jack Bauer’s gun.
- Jack Bauer once told God he needed access, the event has since been
referred to as “The Big Bang.”
- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right
now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Jack Bauer frigging hates lemonade.
- Did you know there was a national disaster last night while you were
sleeping? Of course you didn’t, Jack Bauer was on duty.
- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack
Bauer.
- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
And if you watch the show, you can’t help but realize its all true!!
Hail Jack!
Omni December 22nd, 2006
I’ve never appreciate free internet and a power outlet this much.
I’m currently on a ANA boeing 777 with my mac hooked up to a RJ45 jack and a power outlet.
awesome….now i don’t have to worry about getting bored.
Hope everyone has a great x’mas and happy new year!!! =)
Omni December 12th, 2006
Remember good o’ SAT algebra problems? Here’s one.
So a mother is 21 yr older than her son.
In 6 years, mother’s age will be 5 times her son’s age.
Question: WHERE is the father right now?
I’ll buy you a mojito if you’re the first to get it right, must provide proof
Omni November 27th, 2006
DiabloRed82 (11:07:20 PM): i just had my breast milk
mistah omni (11:10:01 PM): WTF?
DiabloRed82 (11:10:22 PM): yeah the protein i am taking has milk breast milk
DiabloRed82 (11:10:23 PM): hehe
DiabloRed82 (11:10:38 PM): its part of the formula
DiabloRed82 (11:10:46 PM): i guess it make sense
DiabloRed82 (11:11:00 PM): i need some titty juice to get my titties
mistah omni (11:11:17 PM): HAHAHAHA
Omni November 15th, 2006
OMG this is such a geeky joke…yet I got the calculation right 
Omni November 14th, 2006
Well..like what Cynthia said, I am MOVING!
This house is gonna be perfect for LAN parties. pre-wired wall jacks and we’ll get FIOS, 15mb down, 2mb up. oohhhHH…looks who’s drinking the cool-aid now? 
Ok..enough the geek talk. Hopefully we can throw a housewarming party as soon as we settle down.
artie: you should have a housewarming party
me: definitely and u’ll be invited
artie: excellent
me: kitchen has hardwood floor and lotsa open space
you know what that means?
artie: everyone’s growing up…
mmm…swiffer mop?
me: you haven’t shown me your moves on the keg yet…
we will get a keg for the 1MP. Don’t worry =)
more later…
Omni November 3rd, 2006
First post, first website, first domain name, woohooo!
omnimofo